barrenchemist
Life. One day at a time.

Why I’m here

Like I said before, I’m starting this blog in a new place.  Away from the mess I created with a real lifer finding my blog and demanding that I don’t post anything about her on it.  Which is the hard part.

Said friend has been my best friend since 5th grade.  She’s newly married and, wouldn’t you know it, pregnant.  36 1/2 weeks to be exact.  It’s hard for me and shit went down early on.  She told me she was pregnant via text.  I asked her if it would be alright to share my feelings with like minded (infertile) internet friends, promising not to use any real info, just to get feedback on the horrible feelings I was having.  Insert shit storm here.  Long story short, I can’t be there for her the way she wants me to so our 15 year friendship has dwindled.

I can’t just step away from her like I have other pregnant people but I can’t see the constant baby belly pictures and daily complaints, “I’m so tired of being pregnant.”  To an infertile, no matter what the friendship, it’s just something we can’t read.

The blog comeback has also been spurred by the wonderful holiday season.  It’s oh so joyful to sit around in a large family (my husband’s) and be the only couple without a child.

How are the holidays going for you?

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One Response to “Why I’m here”

  1. I’m so sorry about your BFF’s response to your pain. It can be so hard dealing with fertile friends. It was tough hearing all about my BFF’s pregnancy when we’d just gone thru a pregnancy loss after IVF. Things have gotten a lot better between us since then, and I hope things improve with your friend too, sooner or later.


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